(Power) Confident
adjective
- feeling or showing confidence in oneself; self-assured.
adjective
- having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.
*************
On December 31stNew Moon Solar Eclipse to end the Decade and start the new Decade.
I'm not sure what it means but the Druids and Pagans do.
I'm glad that somebody keeps records and tabs on long standing things celestial. I find it fascinating but not enough to study it.
They say that New Moon Solar Eclipses,
"They uproot us, surprise us, and get us moving."
I'm just looking forward to it happening as it rarely does.
Happy New Year's Eve y'all!
**********
Disclaimer: All the events below happened. All the details are
forgotten.
The names? True.
Most that were involved are mostly dead. Not all dead.
This is a long post.
The names? True.
Most that were involved are mostly dead. Not all dead.
This is a long post.
*********
I spent the
morning pondering this day, today the last day of this decade.
As I was shaving using Gillette Foamy
as the soap, I hear my Dad Speak as plain as day in my memory: “Awe,
come on! You're shitting me!”
I have not heard those words in decades.
It most likely was sparked by the fragrance of the soap.
The same one he taught me to shave with.
I normally use a non fragrant, holistic blend of moisturizers that don't support the New England Patriots as I am a Buffalo Bills Fan.
lol.
Anyway, my Dad was no angel.
Never professed to be.
He had a 6th grade education.
Being “Left Handed” in Catholic School in the 30's and 40's was no thrill ride.
Left handed people were of the devil or so that is how he described that it was described to him. He remained a Catholic till the end.
I respect that.
I have not heard those words in decades.
It most likely was sparked by the fragrance of the soap.
The same one he taught me to shave with.
I normally use a non fragrant, holistic blend of moisturizers that don't support the New England Patriots as I am a Buffalo Bills Fan.
lol.
Anyway, my Dad was no angel.
Never professed to be.
He had a 6th grade education.
Being “Left Handed” in Catholic School in the 30's and 40's was no thrill ride.
Left handed people were of the devil or so that is how he described that it was described to him. He remained a Catholic till the end.
I respect that.
I'm told he was told that phrase as the
back of his hand was hit with a stick. Yard stick, pointer, ruler ... I've been hit the same but for different reasons.
We had something in common I never realized before - a few meaningful years of Sister "Mary" Whatever and her command of the ruler.
I'm glad the School I started in dissolved at 5th grade for me.
I started in 6th in Public control. What a difference.
As for my Dad, school lost a brilliant mind and created a hoodlum.
Wars of the age taught him the streets.
The streets taught him how to scrap.
His father took him to the woods and taught him to hunt and find solitude in the forest.
Places that other Polish Men of industry gathered to hunt 50 miles away from Buffalo. A place my brother still hunts to this day.
A place where my Dad desired his remains to lay.
Land he fought for. Land he taught me to reverence.
Harvest he also taught me to respect and give glory to God for.
He got 1/2 his wish. The Military got the other.
The Korean War made him a Veteran.
A whiskey bottle in a bar fight in the 50's took his nose … at least all the bone in his nose.
We had something in common I never realized before - a few meaningful years of Sister "Mary" Whatever and her command of the ruler.
I'm glad the School I started in dissolved at 5th grade for me.
I started in 6th in Public control. What a difference.
As for my Dad, school lost a brilliant mind and created a hoodlum.
Wars of the age taught him the streets.
The streets taught him how to scrap.
His father took him to the woods and taught him to hunt and find solitude in the forest.
Places that other Polish Men of industry gathered to hunt 50 miles away from Buffalo. A place my brother still hunts to this day.
A place where my Dad desired his remains to lay.
Land he fought for. Land he taught me to reverence.
Harvest he also taught me to respect and give glory to God for.
He got 1/2 his wish. The Military got the other.
The Korean War made him a Veteran.
A whiskey bottle in a bar fight in the 50's took his nose … at least all the bone in his nose.
All of this before he got married and became my Dad.
I never quite thought of his journey this way.
I just was a rebelling teen.
He always told me: “Do as I say, NOT as I do.”
An “Artful Dodger” he was, I'm told by his closest cousin Sonny.
Forced to retire early as a Crane Operator for Bethlehem Steel when that company restructured before they dissolved.
(Their lawyers stole the last parts of his retirement too.)
I learned from a distance to not trust retirement plans and the entities that "promise" them, especially those controlled by a Union controlled or controlling a Government.
He was a sailor on the Midway, the USN Carrier museum in San Diego. Someday soon I'll walk her decks.
He grew up on the streets of Buffalo during the 1940's & 50's.
By 1965, we were living out on the farms.
Green Acres type of home built in the 1800's.
Everyone associated with him (the 5 he hung with) were all good people.
Even the evil looking and evil acting
ones.
Don't judge them, they are someones little boy.
All I can say is that I was raised around conversations that had a lot of questionable conduct points within their stories. KKK to D.C./Baltimore, to Railroad Yard scrapping events with Italian and Polish Mafia structured schemes and then talk would change to Family reunions, gatherings, crazy antics and horseshoes.
I cannot say things or repeat things as I truly cannot say they are true.
Beer and Liquor clouds stories and the things that surround those stories.
Not from what I drank but from what others did and I witnessed.
My Dad was never in the paper or around those deeds BUT, somehow, the characters involved sometimes would be at a card game, relaxing and enjoying their existence. And boasting.
Don't judge them, they are someones little boy.
All I can say is that I was raised around conversations that had a lot of questionable conduct points within their stories. KKK to D.C./Baltimore, to Railroad Yard scrapping events with Italian and Polish Mafia structured schemes and then talk would change to Family reunions, gatherings, crazy antics and horseshoes.
I cannot say things or repeat things as I truly cannot say they are true.
Beer and Liquor clouds stories and the things that surround those stories.
Not from what I drank but from what others did and I witnessed.
My Dad was never in the paper or around those deeds BUT, somehow, the characters involved sometimes would be at a card game, relaxing and enjoying their existence. And boasting.
Hopefully I can paint this picture or set the stage setting:
A Card Table in A Shelter (Cabin, RV
Trailer, Garage, Kitchen)
This is not to be confused with other card tables at wedding receptions and holiday parties.
Around the “hunting” card table (mainly 4) where individuals from all walks of life, out hunting and killing night fall hours in Deer Camp with some beer, sometimes “other” drinks, dinner and ALWAYS cards.
This is not to be confused with other card tables at wedding receptions and holiday parties.
Around the “hunting” card table (mainly 4) where individuals from all walks of life, out hunting and killing night fall hours in Deer Camp with some beer, sometimes “other” drinks, dinner and ALWAYS cards.
The deck of cards was my Dad's Bible.
He knew them. He counted them. He challenged himself by playing with
double decks to make the games interesting.
He also knew the “others” by the way they played their hands.
A true Master.
Sometimes as the liquids of choice flowed, the “others” would have “Loose lips that sink ships” as the Navy would promote it's members to refrain from when on the shore.
My Dad was a good listener.
If he wanted more from the story, he would most times utter the phrase:
He also knew the “others” by the way they played their hands.
A true Master.
Sometimes as the liquids of choice flowed, the “others” would have “Loose lips that sink ships” as the Navy would promote it's members to refrain from when on the shore.
My Dad was a good listener.
If he wanted more from the story, he would most times utter the phrase:
“Awe, Come On! You're Schittin Me!”
Ah, the egos of men that have been
challenged by that phrase. MORE info would always follow.
I just sat and listened. “Do as I
say, not as I do” was the mantra that ran through my head.
Watch. Listen. Learn.
Pay Attention.
Watch. Listen. Learn.
Pay Attention.
I learned to not be in places that have
things going on in them. Especially Bad Things.
The stories I “heard” at the card table(s) helped set many stages that I witnessed in my “Growing UP”.
Settings, that as a young man on the
worlds city streets and then on the ships, piers, wharf's,
warehouses, alleys and pool halls as a sailor BEFORE I was married
and had children to care for.
Places: There are many.
I've known many High People in Places too. lol
I've known many High People in Places too. lol
Just because I was never in places
where things HAPPENED does not mean I was not in those places just
BEFORE those things happened. I have a way of not being places I was
previously at. We all do.
Not sure why or how but I'm thankful and grateful for every “NEAR” experience.
Artful Dodging or as I always preferred, Guarded & Protected by Angels.
Not sure why or how but I'm thankful and grateful for every “NEAR” experience.
Artful Dodging or as I always preferred, Guarded & Protected by Angels.
So, as I begin my new year with a clear
slate like every other day, I'm reminded of a time when my Dad was
sitting on the edge of my bed talking to me. Actually, two times.
The first, was a Halloween evening in the 1970's. More towards the middle of the 70's.
Dad had just returned from the towns epicenter (2 stop signs – not lights, signs) and the hoopla that was going on this particular October 31st.
Supposedly, the towns four roads were a blaze with hay bales just about ½ mile out in 4 directions.
Blocked off for a “4” Town tomato fight I heard.
Four different towns of mostly “guys” arrived to enjoy in the festivities I came to understand.
Kids from the furthest reaches of our county came to visit this particular eve I am told.
Seems a bunch of my “friends” were then corralled and called into the Volunteer Fire Hall to be questioned by State Troopers, the local County Authorities and the Towns Elders.
My Dad knew some but not all of the “hoodlums” but did not see me.
It is because, I was not there to see anything.
Yes, others cared to know “What's UP?” and walked towards the commotion.
I did not care to know and when I heard the blast and the alarm, I started walking home.
I even took the long way home. Through
fields away from street and car lights.
From where I walked, it was dark. I heard distant sirens. I saw many a distant flashing lights.
I heard “when” the bank alarm was silenced … but I was not there.
Sounds echo off the edges of woods.
I could not tell a lie and my Dad believed me.
He did say: You schittin me?
No, no bullshit Dad. I was not there.
We had a No Bull shit rule.
If I lied, I had “Zero” protection.
If I told the truth, I was still made to tell the truth in front of authorities.
I did not realize how much that training would serve me in my future at my first inquiry, Trial or Captains Mast. Calm and cooperative for sure.
So even though our conversation was concluded this Halloween, did not mean all was finished because of the magnitude in a small, quiet country town.
He then left me …
“Alright, sleep well. Your friends aren't.”
I learned early about becoming the average of the 5 I hang with.
My average is much better and way up now. :)
From where I walked, it was dark. I heard distant sirens. I saw many a distant flashing lights.
I heard “when” the bank alarm was silenced … but I was not there.
Sounds echo off the edges of woods.
I could not tell a lie and my Dad believed me.
He did say: You schittin me?
No, no bullshit Dad. I was not there.
We had a No Bull shit rule.
If I lied, I had “Zero” protection.
If I told the truth, I was still made to tell the truth in front of authorities.
I did not realize how much that training would serve me in my future at my first inquiry, Trial or Captains Mast. Calm and cooperative for sure.
So even though our conversation was concluded this Halloween, did not mean all was finished because of the magnitude in a small, quiet country town.
He then left me …
“Alright, sleep well. Your friends aren't.”
I learned early about becoming the average of the 5 I hang with.
My average is much better and way up now. :)
********
The second was at Easter, 1979.
I woke up and Dad was standing at the end of the hospital bed.
He asked:
“I have one question and you better not lie. Were you drinking?”
“Yes”, I answered shamelessly.
“Did anyone get hurt? Is Pat alright?”
“Yes and No”, he responded out of order.
“Pat got some scratches but no one but you is hurt.”
He then continued … “If you would have lied to me, you would not have walked out of this hospital.”
I believed him.
No other time have I done such a stupid act.
I was not busted. No one knows how or why.
God does and I did hear by “word off the street” that it was a miracle I was not charged with DUI with a blood count 4 or 5 times the amount (by the time I got to the hospital – hours later).
It was so high they thought the machine was malfunctioning and gave me a pass I understand. What else could it have been?
And the words: “Are you schittin me?”
were heard by me years later in a card game as the story is still a
miracle I share with my Dad. We all survived. We grew. Love
prevails.
I was changed by the accident and today it's outcome has partially placed me on military disability.
I live in a world where there are no accidents.
Things don't just happen, things happen just.
All the “good” things that came from a bad evening of choices:
* My USN career changed a month after the accident.
(concussions and schooling - Headaches)
* My Dad witnessed an Artful Dodge on God's Scale.
(I was busted – and protected by divine)
* God's directional change for my life was witnessed and my life was again spared for reason.
I found out more on a star lit night in the middle of the Atlantic several months later.
I was changed by the accident and today it's outcome has partially placed me on military disability.
I live in a world where there are no accidents.
Things don't just happen, things happen just.
All the “good” things that came from a bad evening of choices:
* My USN career changed a month after the accident.
(concussions and schooling - Headaches)
* My Dad witnessed an Artful Dodge on God's Scale.
(I was busted – and protected by divine)
* God's directional change for my life was witnessed and my life was again spared for reason.
I found out more on a star lit night in the middle of the Atlantic several months later.
Who's and What's reason? I
can only guess Sources reason(s).
One of many times I can recall vividly and in some cases, nightmarish still.
A reason I walk the A.T. - to talk with the ONE who knows the most and the best for my next adventure towards REASON.
One of many times I can recall vividly and in some cases, nightmarish still.
A reason I walk the A.T. - to talk with the ONE who knows the most and the best for my next adventure towards REASON.
***********
On the scale
that I measure myself against now, I'm about done with the PRIDE
level.Stories of close calls and the past are pride driven, at least it seems that way for me now.
I'm ready to don COURAGE as my banner going forward.
OLD AGE AIN'T FOR WIMPS! :)
Here are the “Levels” as found on Pages 68 and 69 of “Power vs. Force” that I'm following.
I'll list them from Top to
Bottom.
I'm working my way UP from Bottom to somewhere above bottom.
Enlightenment
Peace
I'm working my way UP from Bottom to somewhere above bottom.
Enlightenment
Peace
Joy
Love
Reason
Acceptance
Willingness
Neutrality
Courage
Pride
Anger
Desire
Fear
Grief
Apathy
Guilt
Shame
Like I said, I
believe I'm between Pride and Courage.
Working my way up to stay at a new level with my life and world.
That is why I am going to hike the Appalachian Trail.
Hindsight 2020 Tour.
I need a long journey, Forest Bathing. Shinrin-Yoku
To be taken in by nature.
Working my way up to stay at a new level with my life and world.
That is why I am going to hike the Appalachian Trail.
Hindsight 2020 Tour.
I need a long journey, Forest Bathing. Shinrin-Yoku
To be taken in by nature.
Embraced by what
continues without assistance from anything but Source.
Well almost without assistance.
I need Annette to mail me packages from time to time. LOL.
But for the sauntering in the woods, Walking Through Forests,
To be of the same with it all as an observer.
Well almost without assistance.
I need Annette to mail me packages from time to time. LOL.
But for the sauntering in the woods, Walking Through Forests,
To be of the same with it all as an observer.
Not sure if I see Waves or Particles or Both.
Since I have a choice, I'll choose both.
I believe in Wave-Particle Duality.
I believe in Wave-Particle Duality.
********
I could not get hunting and jokes out of my mind.
I could not get hunting and jokes out of my mind.
Here are a couple of
classics.
Da Yoopers sing a classic that depicts antics that I can believe were based on true stories.
2nd week ofdeer camp
Da Yoopers sing a classic that depicts antics that I can believe were based on true stories.
2nd week ofdeer camp
Bananas at Large sing a similar song:
None the less.
“I'm a deer hunter how do ya do, and I'm gonna tell a deer hunting tale to you.” Lol.
Only one year growing up did I remember my Dad getting “Skunked”.
Zero Harvest.
Family story has it that both my older sister and I turned away beef the first time because we were raised on venison.
I guess it's in my blood. Literally.
So as life would have it, I do know how to properly prepare for, continue through and be successful at harvesting a deer if I need to. Humanely as possible. One shot, unaware, fell in place.
Dealt with the remains, respectfully until they are partitioned, processed and placed in the freezer bags and jerky.
I'll possibly hunt someday in my future but it would be out of respect for the craft.
There are plenty of shelters around here in the hills that accept a harvesting gladly.
A deer can help many family, including mine if the harvest is good.
We shall see if I can “Create” a safe farm area here that is “Nature” cared for and provides everything that multitudes of Deer, Rabbit, Squirrel, Partridge, Quail, Dove and Turkey would enjoy playing in.
Then if too many show up, we may have to begin harvesting. I do like jerky in many flavors. :)
No Opossum, Raccoon or Blackbird Pie for me though. Lol
So as life would have it, I do know how to properly prepare for, continue through and be successful at harvesting a deer if I need to. Humanely as possible. One shot, unaware, fell in place.
Dealt with the remains, respectfully until they are partitioned, processed and placed in the freezer bags and jerky.
I'll possibly hunt someday in my future but it would be out of respect for the craft.
There are plenty of shelters around here in the hills that accept a harvesting gladly.
A deer can help many family, including mine if the harvest is good.
We shall see if I can “Create” a safe farm area here that is “Nature” cared for and provides everything that multitudes of Deer, Rabbit, Squirrel, Partridge, Quail, Dove and Turkey would enjoy playing in.
Then if too many show up, we may have to begin harvesting. I do like jerky in many flavors. :)
No Opossum, Raccoon or Blackbird Pie for me though. Lol
**********
In closing this New Years Eve, I'm going to set my sights on a new me going forward.
I can never be matched with anyone or compared to anything.
I do not desire to.
What others think about me is none of my business and shall remain that way.
As for the Legacy that I desire going forward to become of all of this?
A “Legacy” is something we're creating every day, whether we realize it or not. It's what we do when no one is watching that matters the most in our lives.
100 crunches before coffee and a walk each day to better my tomorrow.
In closing this New Years Eve, I'm going to set my sights on a new me going forward.
I can never be matched with anyone or compared to anything.
I do not desire to.
What others think about me is none of my business and shall remain that way.
As for the Legacy that I desire going forward to become of all of this?
A “Legacy” is something we're creating every day, whether we realize it or not. It's what we do when no one is watching that matters the most in our lives.
100 crunches before coffee and a walk each day to better my tomorrow.
So with some realization and
reasoning, I'm going to ponder this question all the way to my 60th
Birthday somewhere in Georgia or Tennessee or North Carolina or
Kentucky.
What is to become of this?
I'll walk off that last mountain (for the day) and hopefully have an answer that I'll be able to work on going forward till my demise.
Peace, Joy, Love
The reasons for the Seasons.
I trust that you find all that you seek this coming year.
Thoughts do become things so choose yours wisely.
I'll do the same.
I'll begin the maintenance on the family antique, a 3 thread Bernina Surger and then I'll start on my antique Singer machine to start sewing today, so my focus will be more on that in the coming weeks before I begin testing all my gear.
I also have my first stove design to test.
Keeping the 32 gas jets under .06mm and then angling them to form a vortex jet flame at .06mm (+/- .002) and a non-measured angle. I'll be altering the angle (if needed) with tests.
If it matters, I'm going to shoot for finding an exact .06mm pin to create the can stove.
Moving forward into a new decade.
Enjoy the New Moon Eclipses to mark off the calendar day.
I wrote earlier that others believe that:
What is to become of this?
I'll walk off that last mountain (for the day) and hopefully have an answer that I'll be able to work on going forward till my demise.
Peace, Joy, Love
The reasons for the Seasons.
I trust that you find all that you seek this coming year.
Thoughts do become things so choose yours wisely.
I'll do the same.
I'll begin the maintenance on the family antique, a 3 thread Bernina Surger and then I'll start on my antique Singer machine to start sewing today, so my focus will be more on that in the coming weeks before I begin testing all my gear.
I also have my first stove design to test.
Keeping the 32 gas jets under .06mm and then angling them to form a vortex jet flame at .06mm (+/- .002) and a non-measured angle. I'll be altering the angle (if needed) with tests.
If it matters, I'm going to shoot for finding an exact .06mm pin to create the can stove.
Moving forward into a new decade.
Enjoy the New Moon Eclipses to mark off the calendar day.
I wrote earlier that others believe that:
"They uproot us, surprise us, and get us moving."
I am uprooted, surprised and moving forward.
I've decided to use my Kindle account at Trail Journals to receive email (template) updates. Short in nature. Tied to pictures and thoughts from the day with occasional links to videos on my YouTube channel. I believe they can be separated as deemed necessary.
I will also then comment on "The Trek" as myself and I'll write more candidly and frank at times. I believe the others on that site speak in a no BS fashion using all the words in the dictionaries too.
I respect each for who they are.
Crazy wanderers and adventurous types excited about the self inflicted misery that can happen by surprise.
"The most fun had with long walks in pain,"
I've heard it described.
This journey is already beginning to help me.
"You didn't come into this world.
You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean.
You are not a stranger here."
~ Alan Watts
(Found this on the Forest Bathing Site, it fits)
Till then, stay safe.
I'll write with you next year.
Make it YOUR best year ever!
(Link goes to a Jim Rohn 4:22 video - 4 hours and 22 min) :)
Life changing stuff. Good Stuff. lol
~ Kindle
