(Power) Patient
adjective
- able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.
adjective
- having or showing a keen interest in or enthusiasm for something.
*****
At this juncture, of when I thought to convert anger into art, Guitar playing came to mind.
22+ years ago, I lost my hands, fingers, arms while playing guitar.
Was it for God or me, that is for the jury to decide ... but I can tell, my heart never wavered.
With the arm snake move recently that Michael F. did in a song while wearing pig tails and a scout suit ... my fingers came back alive.
Now, years past a songs release, my hands and fingers bleeding ... I test on a Yamaha F-335 BL ... a new direction. It sounds nice. :)
The strings will need to be replaced, so the blood stains are no biggie right now ... key is that there was a time and a place where my daughter and I were ... and I asked if I could have it since it was going to be left behind in her move if we could not fit in in the car ... well, it's here and I'm playing it ..... finally, many years later ....
"there's a crack in the gutter where a flower grows ... reminding me that everything is possible .. yeah, reminded me that nothing was impossible ... ya gotta live for the one that you love ya know, you gotta love for the life that you live you know singing: Hey, hey hey .... "
Almost like I never missed a lot of weeks of practice .... with a muscle memory that not always clicks with my brain .... a flow ... barre chords to start, I play thru Hey, Hey, Hey now every morning ... to wake up with a better frame of mind as I now have a desire to finger pick the song Life is Better with You ... this will take weeks of practice AFTER my shard, cut finger tips heal OR scar over. love.
Pain is temporary ... a Phoenix comes from ashes.
In some ways I was not patient to become old.
********
Punchlines and reality
..... what do you want the gauge or the fruit to say? I can make that happen but the impossible just takes a little time.
There was a time in my career when precision was not an option.
It was a full time requirement.
Transitioning to the civilian unemployment force after 16 years of precision instruments and exact federal requirements and data ...
falling into society sucked.
People are inherently not as motivated as many would desire or like. Levels of motivation.
Navy seal motivation - pain helps.
High School motivation ... should end in high school.
Joke:
Do you know why the desks in 2nd grade are so small?
So that we don't desire to go back there.
Now, years later, I'm an angry pissed off old dude who was an angry pissed off abused toddler, teen, to a top notch sailor after being a complete fuck up and then adult phase hits and my two adorable children ... watching a man melt down as they build up.
Not a great teeter tauter to witness ... our home - the FUN in dysfunctional ... just like everyone else.
Cutting it short due to throbbing hands.
Back to clearing my past before I create my new future.
~ Kindle.
